Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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