she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize