Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
