Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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