my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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