you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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