Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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