why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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