just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
