you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize