I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Randomize
