chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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