A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
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I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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