on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You can't motorboat a personality
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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