He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My ass is underappreciated
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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