I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize