So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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