I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
