Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
