I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
