i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
