yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
