I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
