I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
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