My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
