HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
tonight lets celebrate not being married
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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