Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
