walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
