Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my sisters under your porch take her home
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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