I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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