If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
