There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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