This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
