YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
