I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
