i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize