We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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