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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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