i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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