id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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