I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
