I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
