checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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