I will die if light touches me.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
