my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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