You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
