i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
