He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
