She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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