do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
