do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
