Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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