God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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