he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize