You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize