What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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