There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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