I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
