She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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