I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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