I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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