He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
