He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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