She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
